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When you lose weight, you’ll face many different reactions. Yes, sometimes you get complimented, but there are many not-so-great comments as well. When people make wrong assumptions about your weight loss, it’s rarely nice.
So, let’s talk about all the stereotypes that come with losing weight. It’s important to know how to react when you face these comments in your life. Here are the most common ones I’ve heard.
When You Lose Weight People Think You’re Dieting
Long-term weight loss does not mean dieting or starving yourself. Rather, it involves making healthy choices such as eating lots of fruits and vegetables while enjoying “junk food” in moderation. However, due to the diet industry and major media, most people are unaware of this.
After losing a noticeable amount of weight, I’ve had people act strange around me when offering food. People ask if I’m allowed to eat something, as though I’ll catch fire if I do. I’ve joked at work from time to time about how I’m eating “diet food” while munching on some chips or a chocolate bar. With the amount of weight I dropped, no one can argue. In all seriousness, I hope someone takes notice of how I eat and catches on.
People also think I’m an expert on fad diets. Lately, keto has been a big thing, so I get quite a few comments about that, as well as intermittent fasting. I let them know I don’t put rules on my eating because I’ve suffered from eating disorders in the past, and the conversation is usually over. I’m an honest person, and trying to say what food I should eat never goes as expected.
Also, dieting advice gets a bit annoying. When people think you’re a dieter, they think you also want their diet tips and give them without permission. When someone says “don’t eat this” or “eat this instead of that,” I usually smile, thank them for the advice, and inform them I don’t follow food rules.
People Think You Have an Eating Disorder
More than once, I’ve been asked if I lived off celery or exercised twice a day. Like it’s hard to believe I focused on nutrition and still ate what I wanted in moderation. There are so many ways that the diet industry has normalized disordered eating, and people definitely think of it when they see someone get smaller.
People also think of illnesses. I’ve been asked if I’m alright, which isn’t bad, but something to be prepared for. A major weight loss can make people fear for your well-being. You’ll likely have to assure someone that you’re healthy and do not have cancer or an eating disorder.
People also make unnecessary comments about your weight, saying you’re too skinny now. The worst ones are comments like “eat a cheeseburger.” I personally haven’t dealt with comments like these, but I know of many who have. This is no different to me than telling someone they’re too fat and they should lose weight. Rude, right? Seriously, mind your own business.
Everyone Asks “What Food Should I Eat?”
On the other hand, some want to know what diet has been working so well for me. They don’t understand that I’m simply trying to eat healthier and that I’m no longer binge eating. Weight loss is something that happened because I was obese and stopped eating extreme amounts of food.
I get asked how I lost weight A LOT, and people rarely like my answer. They want to hear of some new magic diet that they haven’t tried. Sadly, people believe that enjoying even the smallest amount of high-calorie food will stall their weight loss. Many friends who asked me for weight loss help have ignored my (clearly effective) advice.
People seem to crave restriction. I certainly did when I had orthorexia. But making yourself miserable to lose weight as fast as possible is not only crappy, it usually ends in failure. One of my greatest struggles is getting people to understand you need to make a plan that’s sustainable. That’s the reason I created this blog. I wanted to show people that dieting is useless.
No One Believes I’m Doing It for Me
The first time someone said, “you look great,” after losing some weight, it felt awesome. I felt like I was a valuable person. Now, when I get comments about my weight loss making me look better, I get a bit deflated. It makes me wonder what they thought of me before.
Is my weight an indicator of my value? Absolutely not. In fact, my weight loss was something that came from choosing a healthy life free from eating disorders and obsessive dieting. If anything, losing weight made me love myself more, not because I look different, but because I’m proud of my progress in eating disorder recovery.
However, when it comes to weight loss, society does think it makes you more beautiful. Like you’re worthy of more respect and love because of it. I’ve been asked if I’m losing weight to impress a man or because I want to fit in with thinner friends. I believe these assumptions come from the diet culture surrounding us and therefore hold no actual truth.
The belief that I’m losing weight to get back in the dating game, or someone saying “now you’re ready to find a man,” makes me sick. I certainly don’t want someone who only wants me when I’m thin. That’s not a great way to start a relationship. Regardless of what people believe, I’m doing it for me.
“Being liked for the way you looked is worse than not being liked at all.” – Amanda Hocking, My Blood Approves Click To TweetWhen You Lose Weight: Takeaway
When you lose weight, you start to see the many misbeliefs people have about weight loss. You open the door to stereotyping, ignorant comments, and unwanted advice. You’ll get tired of hearing, “what food should I eat?” In the end, you may wish that no one noticed your weight at all.
As for me, I’ll keep sharing my weight loss experience, so the people around me can make their own decisions about food and diets. After all the damage I’ve done to my body, you’ll never see me restricting again. Being healthy is a gift and I’m doing it for myself.
How about you? Have you dealt with any unfair assumptions after losing a significant amount of weight? Let me know in the comments!
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It’s bizarre that people would think you’re losing weight for dating purposes.
For me, the only times I’ve ever lost large amounts of weight were when I was really depressed and had not appetite, and it was rather bizarre to have people complimenting me on that.
Yeah I never quite got that. I’ve seen people getting in shape to get back in the dating game and it confuses me a bit.
I think it’s best to not bring up people’s weight at all, unless they bring it up first. But not everyone shares the same mentality.
It actually drives me crazy when I tell them my tips and they don’t listen. I literally tell all of them “I still eat everything it’s moderation” and then they respond with, “okay, I’ll eat one banana only for breakfast every morning”
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
OMG that’s so annoying 😅. At least they eat the bananas, I suppose. I’ve seen people skip breakfast entirely, or label bananas as “junk food” because they have too much sugar apparently.
Bananas as junk food???? What???
Yep. It’s a thing 😆
Ang, well done, as per usual. I have shared before that I am in the category of long term weight loss and sustainability. The key is what you said, setting a plan and keeping with it. Portion control, fewer fried foods, fewer white foods (that one is hard as we love our pasta, rice, potatoes and bread) are key. Regular exercise, which need not be overly strenuous is also key. I work out about fifteen minutes every morning and I try to walk or hike often. In the summer, I swim every other day. The work outs vary every day, but are a combination of Yoga, Pilates, calisthenics and light weights.
Here is the key trick. If you eat poorly at one meal, make up for it with a salad at the next one. We buy these pre-rinsed mixed greens which allow one salad to be made quite easily. None of what I describe is rocket science or faddish. But, it can be sustained. I have lost 50 pounds over four years and kept it maintained for two. Another trick is do not take a bag of anything to the couch. Put the chips, nuts, trail mix in a bowl and take the bowl to the couach.
Well done my friend. To be frank, when you get to my age, your worry much less what others think. Focus on what works for you is the best advice I can give.
Keith
Yes, sustainability is certainly the key. Feeling deprived will rob you of your happiness and lead you to binge eating. That’s definitely been my experience. Thanks Keith!
Great post with good points, Ang. Like you, it irks me when people assume that you’re losing weight for a man or dating purposes, like a man is supposed to be the end all be all. And you’re right, most people never stop and think you’re doing it for yourself and because you just want to get healthier. And these assumptions tell you a lot about who they are and about their own values.
It does, Cherie. I’ve come to see a new side of some people.
Thanks C.A. 🙂
Urks me that people always want the easy way out. They hate to hear you actually worked for it!
Yes, it seems that way 🙂
I’ve had that as well. I must be losing weight because I’m trying to date. Staggering.
Yeah. It’s such a weird reaction.
This is so relatable! When I dropped 15kg over summer break in uni, everyone kept commenting on how good I looked but implied I looked better smaller. I had lost the weight unhealthily of course, so not only did I feel bad about looking ‘bad’ when I was bigger, I was led to believe that I had to keep starving myself for people to like me. Sometimes simple comments can be so destructive!
I’m so sorry to hear that, Shelly 😥. I’m glad you’re in a better place now. Comments can definitely be hurtful, even if they’re intended to be good.
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